Although most women assume they would confront sexism, assertive responses are rare. We test whether women’s preference for respect or liking during interpersonal interactions explains this surprising tendency. Women report preferring respect relative to liking after being asked sexist, compared with inappropriate, questions during a virtual job interview (Study 1, n = 149). Women’s responses to sexism increase in assertiveness along with their preference for being respected, and a respect-preference mediates the relation between the type of questions and response assertiveness (Studies 1 and 2). In Study 2 (n = 105), women’s responses to sexist questions are more assertive when the sense of belonging is enhanced with a belonging manipulation. Moreover, preference for respect mediates the effect of the type of questions on response assertiveness, but only when belonging needs are met. Thus the likelihood of confrontation depends on the goal to be respected outweighing the goal to be liked.