Aggression in intimate relationships is pervasive, has been implicated in personal distress, and yet may not be perceived as harmful. Two studies (cross-sectional, longitudinal) examined whether being the target of psychologically aggressive behavior by a partner is uniquely associated with personal distress, beyond the effects of general couple functioning, perpetrating aggression, or experiencing physical aggression. New instances of psychological aggression by a partner predicted increases in personal distress. Study 2 also examined participants’ perceptions of what causes them stress. Although psychological aggression by a partner predicted personal distress, participants did not perceive their relationship as a source of stress. This suggests a pattern of "invisible harm" in which individuals victimized by psychological aggression may not recognize the harm they are experiencing.